I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
