he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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