Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize