By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
