It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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