i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
