I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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