Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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