fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
