brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
My breasts were aching with rage.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
