Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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