I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
