He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize