Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
