Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
