Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
