I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
