oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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