happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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