i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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