What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Randomize