My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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