Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
