ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
