Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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