Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
