do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
