No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
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