so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
We are all done wearing pants today
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
