I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
