im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Randomize
