she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
