butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
