I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
bring money and cleavage
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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