don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
