WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize