C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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