So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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