Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize