There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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