Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
