carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
