also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
