I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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