maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
