You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
