Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
