I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
My dick has a subreddit
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
