Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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