Please, let me fuck your mom
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
