So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
