I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
