I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize