the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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