Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
even my farts smell like vagina
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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