Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
