ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
