so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
