Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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