just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
