Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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