Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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