u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize
