Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
