I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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