I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
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