Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
