I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
