would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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