Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
