I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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