So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
