Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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