I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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