C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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