oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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