im gay
i know
yea but for you.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize