Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I just googled if crying burns calories
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
