Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
