So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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