can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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